Phareke - Paranoid (Kendrick Lamar remix)

More Random Shit

It feels good to be loved and there is nothing wrong with the admission of a need for love.  I have committed to a life of living in love years ago and it as both been admired and frowned upon possibly for the reasons of needing it in my opinion.  It is the dependence on it that can make daily life challenging.  When you become dependent on something you feel like you never get enough of it.. you over look what is in front of you while wanting for more.  The shit I want is not unrealistic.. I want people to spread love honestly with others without letting jealousy and a lack of trust get in the way.  I am guilty of the things I wish against at times but I am mostly guilty of giving the same things I wish for, love. 

It isn't about success in the rap game for me (however you see success to be) and it may look like that to others you try to work with and collaborate with.  For others to think this must mean they believe they are already famous, or successful.  It isn't about how many ep's you release or how many albums your count is at or how hard you hustle your music or however you decide what makes "The Game" the game. 

To me you're successful when you move someone with your art, or when you use your art to express who you are or share an experience honestly and courageously.  Perhaps the next person who didn't have the courage to express the same experience may have found that courage after hearing your song.. errtime they hear your song.  That to me is success.  So the next time someone thinks that you spread your word in an effort to chase success, if you've ever touched one person's heart, then you've already seen the success they think you're chasing and that is a good thing.  Keep doing that good thing.

#spreadloveerrday


www.reverbnation.com/phareke

Still Living In The YYC

 Yuuuuup...

Still in Calgary.  Still reaching out to strangers and friends alike.  It's been six months since I began the 1 year count down to travel... 6 months left.  As expected, so much life has happened since then.  SO MUCH.  IT'S SURREAL.  It continues to be.  

Connections made and lost and still in search of friends.  A crew.  A crew that will treat me as an equal.  I think that large characters are intimidating to others.  Even intimidating to me at times, however, when in the presence of larger characters by my own perception, I, without false ego, put myself on their level by seeing them as another human and that must make me large as well.  We are all trying to get somewhere and if someone is different, they are just that, different.  They read a different book or learned a different lesson a different way.  Not better, different.  They can be better at something than you, but nobody is better at life than you.  Even if you live a life of suffering and them a life of pleasure and/or materialism we are just moving into the space that has already been set forth for us.. react.  When we sleep and connect, when we meditate and connect, when we make love and connect, when we feel the whole world as one and dualism seizes to exist.. That is what is real.  So, make your human existence a better one by actually making it a better one for others. 

Make sense? 

What seems like high expectations to others, seems like what a friends should be to me.  I guess, I still put a lot of weight on words.  I still, when someone says, I love you, put weight on what that is to me.  Well, I do the same thing when someone is like, "Oh yeah, Phareke is my friend..."  What are my brother's names?  Do I have a sister? What is her name?  How many neices do I have?  Have I lost any reletives?  What do you know about me to say you know me?"  Then they get hurt when I ask these questions and then I get disposed of.  Yet they, say good things, I think, about me while thinking I'm a ticking time bomb or over sensitive or just scared because I call people out on properly representing themselves in the world.  On over use of the word Love when speaking to others..

Do what you do but admit what you do.

I will practice love n forgiveness and continue working on the compassion part until others actually begin to follow in that path.

#spreadloveerrday
#loveyourself
#loveothers
#bereal
#thelovemovement
#hiphopforhumanity
#lifelitemusicgroup

Check out..
www.reverbnation.com/phareke

My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
#spreadloveerrday 

Canadian Hip Hop is live in Calgary Alberta

Why do I want more outta you?

I'm trying not to be turned off by what attracts me the most... human connection. 

My love for people makes it almost impossible for me NOT to take it personal that potential friendships come and go as fast as a weekend high. 

Our A.D.D. society has caused us to become quickly bored the more we get to know someone to be as human as us.

First Blog of 2012

Not sure why I'm even starting this blog right now... I guess I just got on here and realized it's been months since I posted. So so much has happened just since October... already going on 5 months ago. Right now I'm chillin' listening to some Masta Ace... track called "Beautiful". Just the word alone makes me think of my girl... who is in the other room unhappy. I guess that I'm being kind of a buzz kill tonight. It's Saturday night and she's flying high on energy from the Bio Energy day in a booth at the Calgary Health and Wellness show. I'm so proud of her and I mean it! I just haven't really jumped up and down like I feel like I'm expected to be doing right now. Why? Don't know. I should be! I just got given a fist full of dollars from a drywall hustle I just completed. Still full of the dust in my hair and eyes as I type about it. Would love to bath and soak it off but, there is no hot water. I ran the last of it into a bath and like a gentleman gave that bath to Laine. She said she was gonna sauna, so, I figured... why not let her take a nice hot dip in a nice oily scented bath for a min before her sauna... then I guess she decided to NOT sauna and just stay in the bath. Now it's cold, oily, full of all day Laine. Oh well, I offered it. Wish I just wasn't so dusty and filthy.

I kinda wasted my saturday. I was committed so spending my day at Laine's mom's helping Tim with the floor, but, it was a one man job and I didn't end up getting to my own gig (drywall) until 3 something. Rushed and sanded my ass off just to make it on time to pick Laine up at the Bio E show (which I was half an hour late) and now 3 hours later, I'm still talking about her day and her accomplishments with a bunch of cash in a jar, no wardrobe and dust in my eyes.

It's Saturday night and I am in the house. Been in the city 8 months and have not seen the inside of a night club yet. I don't really feel that I can make plans to go out without my girl expecting that she and I are going together. In the entirety of our relationship I can think of two times we partied separate. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my woman and I love hanging with her, we have a blast, however... what does guy time look like for me at this point? Work?

I'm listening to this Masta Ace track on repeat and loving it. Really effin Loving it. He's gonna be at Hi Fi on Wednesday and I wanna go. I mentioned it... she said, "Let's Go"... I guess, I'll go to the night club with my girl. Is it disrespectful that I'm not jumping for joy? I mean, I've gone to the night club with my girl on many occasions and had a blast... and represented true (including not dodging kisses, holding hands and whatever). So, if I wanna go with a guy or alone, is that disrespectful? WTF? Anyways, fuck thinking about it. I need an entirely new wardrobe... we brought in over 5000 dollars into our home this month and it's only the 17th and we only have about 1000 to show for it. Life cost fucking money! Was two months behind on the truck payment (1200) and another month already calling for another 6 bills! Then food was over 5 bills so far and utilities 3 bills... gas wtf so far about 2 bills spent on that... and the ganja? well... being a chronic about 3 bills dropped on that too. Shiit it just doesn't stop.

Thank Jah for the opportunity to live lavishly this month. Thank Jah for my relationships and to be able to afford internet to complain on this damn blog that not ONE person other than myself and Jah read.

I really need to get an event going here... As for that trip to Jamaica... there's so much to talk about regarding it. So much came from it in out lives I feel... especially MOM. WTF is all I gotta say!

Till then..

My Life Today

Stumbled upon my blogger blog here and realized that I haven't entered in it in a while. then I just started to type this without thinking of what to write. How about an update? I mean, the last time I entered was May 15th it looks like. Since then, I had Hip Hop For Humanity (2nd annual) at the Fairview Pub on May 28th, 2011 the last Saturday of May. The line up was a good one. I didn't perform at this one. Panther n tha Supafly, Locution Revolution (from Edmonton), Whizdumb, Ndidi Cascade and Deanna Teeple, Furthermore and Immaculate, David Morin and Tonye Aganaba performed this year and they were all good. There were some communication issues with some artists that may have resulted in a loss of contact with one or two of the band members, however, so goes life.

June and July were filled with cafe jam nights and Soren's gig and fighting with the friend of Laine's that I hung with a couple of times.. goof. Also filled with a hustle for money while trying to not get evicted as Jane would harass me HUGE because I had a cat. The damn cat was there before her and Chris moved in the building and yet, as soon as they realized I wasn't JORDIE (the name on Laine's Lease) and also that they didn't even have Laine on record for living in the building (other than still altering and cashing her cheques every month), they put the pressure on. Notes in the laundry room, on our door, the cat the cat the cat. Poor Fritz. His health was not doing well, he was puking twice a day, it sucked.

Then the beginning of July we gave notice to move and relized that the cost to move was stupid. So, we decided if we would put forth such cost, let's move to a place where we can be happy. So it was a toss up between Winnipeg and Calgary and here I am now... in Calgary. I had no idea what to expect but I came with a plan to work and live for 8 months while Laine finishes school in Vancouver (one weekend a month till feb or mar) then move to Peg City...

I am not sure how that plan will pan out. I LOVE my home, my girl, my truck that I got from Vancouver named Pearl, my cat and my life so far in Calgary. I am cutting it short with the details but, it's been nice to have a fresh start. It's been nice to be able to not have excuses from past or from hate or from paranoia as to why things are NOT working out... all I have now are reasons why things ARE working out. I have contractors and clients who show no reason to be dishonest to me or think of me as dishonest (first contract may have been an exception thanks to Erica... ask me later) and I am slowly working my way into the music scene. Already did a gig at UBU Lounge on the 6th of October.

Will be heading to Jamaica in a couple of weeks... Yay!!! Yikes!!


More to come.....

May 15th, 2011

So, sitting and creating and coming up with something that I started writing a year ago when I moved into my bachelor pad. You know the one that started out as a dream come true to a landlord/tenant nightmere... (see previous on-going blog.. yup, that one will get really juicy). Well I started writing this track called.. well, let's call it GND. JBass gave me a smooth ass beat and so it began with the story about da GND... I figured... write it real time as I live it. So a year passes now and the focus has been on promotions, performing, community, networking and being responsible for being socially active.

So today I'm trying to remember what I wrote a year ago and it hit me.. all the lyrics, one after the other as I was writing and looping the beat JBass gave me. It my heart fluttered so hard I had to put the pen down and sit up straight.. What was the message? What was the reason for getting all twisted in the gut? Previous reactions and/or thoughts would be negative in nature like... "I remember the plans I had when I moved in there and the million things that got in the way of those plans" or "What if I stayed in that bachelor pad a bachelor" or "Blah Blah Stinkin' Ridiculous Blah"

O R ! ! !

Present reaction. Real Time Real World Reaction. The actual reaction to that sweet twisting emotion deep inside was one of "Wow! What a year!" AND "Wow, things really took a seriously different turn than expected and it is amazing what came out of it, none of which was on that list of plans!" AND " Wow! I would have never thought I would have those opportunites, or had that relationship go that way, or play those shows and experience these things" AND "Wow, this is what it's like get over serious heart break and find . . . " AND "That actually didn't hurt so bad" AND "Dang that day felt so gooood" AND "Holy Smokes time flies like the wind waiting for nothing and nobody to make excuse after excuse" AND "Yup, i'mo live for today Today. Just let it take me where it takes me"

Still make plans and make genuine efforts to see them through or end up a waste of skin and muscle and bones. Learn what you can learn along the way and teach what you can teach in shit you say. Dang, I really wanna see the children in my life. I really really am gonna talk to them, listen to them and spend some time with them. All of them that I can... Taye, Caliyah, Dreyson, Arielle, Zachary, Deja, Sciera, Sunday, Inaijah, Roshan, Will, Lexxa and Chloe and Elizabeth and whatever child that is close to me or close to one close to me... and Aisha/Cullin's boy... Sweet sweet whoever you are.

I'm straying from topic to topic with this smooth loop in my dome. GND close by at rest as the synastria is communicated subconsciously within the unexpected union.... so perfectly going down with perfect in perfections and unexpected ups and downs and ups and downs... shiiiiiiiiiit!

I guess this very note is an example of how I had a plan coming in and it went all kinds of un-expected directions like life did... Like life does. Like we do. Like we are life. Yeah... Ha, like Yeeeeeaaahhh ok, I can dig it!

Slum Lords (On Going Blog started on facebook)

December, 06, 2010

So the bailiff left ten minutes ago after informing me that I have lost arbitration and have two days to leave my apartment... This is a long story that begins on April 16th, 2010. No time now but to be continued... this note will get a lot longer.

In the meantime, I will be the first example of legal suit against a realty company... a victorious one!

====================

April 3rd, 2011

I have begun action. Not direct court action but action on gaining control of my straw man SHAWN FRAZER EST. in doing this, I will relieve myself/free myself of the pressures imposed upon me by this false system so that I may really lay the hammer when I take suite against this realty company for what they are doing. I have also remained withing eye sight of the old building so that I can monitor the activities as I prepare to lay the legal hammer. I have up to two years to take action so, by the time all evidence to support my claim in the public record has been gathered and ready to execute, they won't even know what hit them.... keep in touch.

=====================

GANBATTE - by: Phareke

Day 2 No Facebook

Yup..

Day Two without my facebook page... I've had that Phareke facebook page for about four years now and I have only ever spent one morning off of facebook. Shit, it's nuts huh? I don't mean that I never get away from it but, the one time my page got deleted from spamming and then permanently deleted for telling the facebook workers to do their job and research the people who make the complaints, rather than just take everyone's word for it. Now I'm trying to put this band together and the lack of response I'm getting from these guys on facebook is frustrating. It made me realize that the site is something I'm beginning to take personal and I shouldn't. So, on the promise that I won't lose photso or friends if I decide to reactivate, I decided to deactivate. Feel good about it

Anyways, room for other things to think about and work on.

PHAREKE - "KICK BACK" PERFORMED FOR THE FIRST TIME after only one practice

WTF?!!!

Hedonic Entertainment Presents... BUNDOWN SOUNDCREW!!! Siiiiiiiick soundcrew coming to you LIVE from WINNIPEG MANITOBA!! Sweet SWEEEEET LIVE FUNKY HIP HOP! LIVE MC'S!! LIVE DJ'S!!!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=162814933756926#!/event.php?eid=162814933756926

Phareke n Thomas Workshop @ wired Monk Cafe, vancouver 2010

Jah Means God

Jah Means God

by Phareke Frazer on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 9:09am

Why did I make that my title? Well... it seems that when talking to me, some will use the word Jah, however, while talking to others they will use the word God. This is just fine, I have done the same thing. Using each in different ways, as, they are the same thing. Jah, God... Jah Means God. Who or what is God, I can go forever on it. Not sure why I brought it up... I woke up with the strong feeling on my mind. Two strong feelings. One is that I am slowly but surely caring less and less about what other's perception of me is unless they are someone working to get to know human me. The other is that Jah is God and that some people seem to only attach the word Jah to Jamaican culture. In fact, Jah comes from the Indian word Jai which too means God. Just like Ganja comes from the Indian word Ganga which is Cannabis Sativa aka marijuana. Now if you wanna check out my facts, please do so and if I have mistaken anything, let me know please. I mean, we only take what we learn and pass it forward.

WHY DON'T I EAT PORK?

I woke up with this feeling once... over three years ago. I woke up outta my sleep and out loud said the words, " I no longer eat pig"

Since then, I can't believe the kind of ridiculous scrutiny I've received over making the damn decision. It's pretty stupid actually. I mean, who really cares that I don't eat pork? What is the point of harassing me over it? I am telling you, I've been straight up harassed. It seems to be the big topic at any dinner table I sit at now. First the observation, "Oh he doesn't eat pork" Then the question..." Why?" Then my answer because I'm sick of answering, "Because it's a choice I made and wish to stick by" Then comes the rain of opinions regarding the decision. The trying to convince me that I gave up the wrong meat and how silly I am. Then there is the calling me a RASTA and the calling me MUSLIM and whatever else. I can go on about that too... I just might. As far as pork is concerned.. it's a filthy animal. Have you ever visited a pig farm? Now, people will jump up right away, as I've experienced and tell me how filthy a chicken is or a cow. Well, all animals have a degree of filth to them, especially us humans, however, check their diets too. I don't like the pig. Something in my gut tells me there is something wrong with the animal on both the physical and spiritual plain... period!!

AM I A RASTA?

There are elements of all religions that carry truth. The prophets that have been turned Gods actually exist and did wonderful things and spread wonderful messages and saved many peoples lives through inspiration, spiritual guidance and miracles (depending on your idea of a miracle), however, they were humans. Men and women just like us. As far as Rastafarianism is concerned... I was born in Bull Bay which is ONE OF the few, but not "the", original areas where Rastafarianism was originally born. The more I learn about where I come from the more Rasta I seem to be. I was told that I am a Rasta and I just don't know it yet. I am a man of flesh as well as a spiritual being on earth who was born from a woman who was created by a higher power. Rastafarianism was created by a man who believed in his people and believed in finding a path for his people to follow. Inspirational beliefs that can be matched with a strong black image... a black king on earth. I pray everyday to Jah... God. Everytime I eat, every time I sleep, every time I wake... I pray to Jah. Jah is NOT Haile Selassie I to me. Haile Selassie is Jah prophet. An man, working by the power and the hands of Jah. An image in the likeness of Jah as we too are images in the likeness of Jah. So if you take the dogma out of Rastafarianism then I am a Rasta. If you remove the dogma from Christianity and stop telling me that Jesus is my Only path to everlasting life, then, I too can find some truth in the lie. You see, I am what Muslims and Christians and Rastas are... seeking enlightenment... Everyone's truth is their own as the only collective truth is the un written and un spoken laws of the universe. Infinitely small within and infinitely large beyond makes us all each the center of a universe... make sense?

If any of these religions and practices insist on claiming a status of being right over the other, then, they defeat all their purposes, unless, that lie is their purpose. In that case, they practice and preach from the wrong place and spread a false sense of spirituality that exists to preserve the strength of a dysfunctional collective.

I and I

Crying... no Bawling un-controllably! WTF? Sometimes thoughts of then and now hit me so hard in the chest I actually fall to the ground in pure agony. Like, now at this fucking painful moment in this beautiful life in hell. Holy smokes... I can smell my heart burning. Seem to be moving forward but every now and then I will drift for days and wake up in a different place wondering how the hell I got there! Now, here, fucked, or... not, just hurting. I love You and I miss You and I pray for you and I am happy to see you and I am am lucky to be with you and I am not mad at you and I don't blame you and I hope you forgive me because I forgive you and I learned from you and hope to guide you and I have been liberated by you and fall to my knees weak for you and ache for you and am I without you and am better with you and better off without you and uplifted when I rejoice with you and dance with you to nothing but the song my heart creates with you and am drowning in tears lost in thoughts of you and am fucked up over you and stand tall and see clear with you when I talk with you when I smile back at you . . . are all a reflection of I . . . Love you

Oh God... I NEED this freedom. This one thing so coveted by all... freedom. Where? How? When? When. . .

On and on we go looking for answers to questions that may have nothing to do with what's been put forth for us. Finding ourselves babbling on and on. . . run on sentences in online blogs. . . helping to stop our eyes from leaking. Shit. Happens to be that clear to me that we can make all kinds of plans for ourselves, our lives, our loved ones, our careers, our dreams.. plans that we can watch go out the door as destiny takes it's course. Ha Ha to the I for not realizing that only 2 of my eyes were blind while the third eye was dry...

111510

Growing.

It's crazy... It's really something. I have no idea what to even say or think about it other than how awesome it is... pretty crazy sometimes feeling these crazy palpitations that randomly hit me in the chest at un-expected, very sudden moments, totally changing the pattern of my breath drastically. Like... I don't know... a heavenly heart attack you know but, attacking you with a realization of some kind or attacking you with,,, Love maybe? How would you describe it? The feeling you get when you're totally sure of something. Totally sure that you are on the right path, totally sure you're beyond the point of no return, however, still not sure where you're going, how you're gonna make it all the way there, how far you are from the beginning and how far away or close you are to the point you wanna reach and maybe how you know... ramble ramble...

You ever ask an old couple how they did it? Or how they knew? You ever get that answer that they just knew? You think that when you know you just know? Like when you're looking for a career and you are young and a little confused because there are a million things you wanna do, a million places you wanna be, a million confirmations from loved ones that you have ability, that you're special and powerful and full of infinite potential! But the feeling that you're not moving your feet because you're still trying to figure out which direction to point them before you take that nearly impossible first step. Nearly impossible because we fill ourselves with the false notion that impossible is what it is.. and it's not. This applies to meeting your dreams or meeting your dream girl or dream boy. This applies to mastering your craft, art, science, skill, talent career...

Why am I saying all this and where is it coming from. Well, shit, it's coming from my heart I know that. I feel a great deal of powerful love surrounding me and it is resonating like every note in your favorite song on a gorgeous day in paradise after the perfect meal wearing your best outfit with your favorite person.

Recently a whole lot of stinky, moldy shit came raining down on my life at once... I mean, a frickin poop thunderstorm crashing down on me and it didn't seem to knock me down. In the past, one drop of that shit woulda set me off... but by the time I was knee deep in it, it didn't hurt. It went from me drowning in it to me running through it like it was a part of an obstacle course or race that I knew I was gonna win! I'm telling you, if I gave you the details of this shit storm, you would think I'm writing a screen play. I promise, it's some shit...

but I'm healthy. I'm alive, more alive than I've ever been. My brain works and my body and bodily functions still function well... I have the common sense and intelligence to learn, absorb and apply. Learning about who I am and learning about how much my loved ones really do un-conditionally love me makes me feel like the most secure and powerful person I have ever been!

EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH LOVE

My father and I had the best conversation we ever had yesterday... My mother and I had a similar one in shorter length about ten months ago. My brother and I and my sister and I had a falling out a month ago that I feel made us closer simply by helping us overstand eachother better... The girl I'm dating is well... awesome, simply awesome and I'm just in a great mood a lot more than I used to be!

It was but a year or more ago that I wrote "As Good As It Gets" and the answer to that is... it gets better and Better and BETTER!!!!!