Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
WTF?!!!
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Jah Means God
Jah Means God
Why did I make that my title? Well... it seems that when talking to me, some will use the word Jah, however, while talking to others they will use the word God. This is just fine, I have done the same thing. Using each in different ways, as, they are the same thing. Jah, God... Jah Means God. Who or what is God, I can go forever on it. Not sure why I brought it up... I woke up with the strong feeling on my mind. Two strong feelings. One is that I am slowly but surely caring less and less about what other's perception of me is unless they are someone working to get to know human me. The other is that Jah is God and that some people seem to only attach the word Jah to Jamaican culture. In fact, Jah comes from the Indian word Jai which too means God. Just like Ganja comes from the Indian word Ganga which is Cannabis Sativa aka marijuana. Now if you wanna check out my facts, please do so and if I have mistaken anything, let me know please. I mean, we only take what we learn and pass it forward.
WHY DON'T I EAT PORK?
I woke up with this feeling once... over three years ago. I woke up outta my sleep and out loud said the words, " I no longer eat pig"
Since then, I can't believe the kind of ridiculous scrutiny I've received over making the damn decision. It's pretty stupid actually. I mean, who really cares that I don't eat pork? What is the point of harassing me over it? I am telling you, I've been straight up harassed. It seems to be the big topic at any dinner table I sit at now. First the observation, "Oh he doesn't eat pork" Then the question..." Why?" Then my answer because I'm sick of answering, "Because it's a choice I made and wish to stick by" Then comes the rain of opinions regarding the decision. The trying to convince me that I gave up the wrong meat and how silly I am. Then there is the calling me a RASTA and the calling me MUSLIM and whatever else. I can go on about that too... I just might. As far as pork is concerned.. it's a filthy animal. Have you ever visited a pig farm? Now, people will jump up right away, as I've experienced and tell me how filthy a chicken is or a cow. Well, all animals have a degree of filth to them, especially us humans, however, check their diets too. I don't like the pig. Something in my gut tells me there is something wrong with the animal on both the physical and spiritual plain... period!!
AM I A RASTA?
There are elements of all religions that carry truth. The prophets that have been turned Gods actually exist and did wonderful things and spread wonderful messages and saved many peoples lives through inspiration, spiritual guidance and miracles (depending on your idea of a miracle), however, they were humans. Men and women just like us. As far as Rastafarianism is concerned... I was born in Bull Bay which is ONE OF the few, but not "the", original areas where Rastafarianism was originally born. The more I learn about where I come from the more Rasta I seem to be. I was told that I am a Rasta and I just don't know it yet. I am a man of flesh as well as a spiritual being on earth who was born from a woman who was created by a higher power. Rastafarianism was created by a man who believed in his people and believed in finding a path for his people to follow. Inspirational beliefs that can be matched with a strong black image... a black king on earth. I pray everyday to Jah... God. Everytime I eat, every time I sleep, every time I wake... I pray to Jah. Jah is NOT Haile Selassie I to me. Haile Selassie is Jah prophet. An man, working by the power and the hands of Jah. An image in the likeness of Jah as we too are images in the likeness of Jah. So if you take the dogma out of Rastafarianism then I am a Rasta. If you remove the dogma from Christianity and stop telling me that Jesus is my Only path to everlasting life, then, I too can find some truth in the lie. You see, I am what Muslims and Christians and Rastas are... seeking enlightenment... Everyone's truth is their own as the only collective truth is the un written and un spoken laws of the universe. Infinitely small within and infinitely large beyond makes us all each the center of a universe... make sense?
If any of these religions and practices insist on claiming a status of being right over the other, then, they defeat all their purposes, unless, that lie is their purpose. In that case, they practice and preach from the wrong place and spread a false sense of spirituality that exists to preserve the strength of a dysfunctional collective.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I and I
Crying... no Bawling un-controllably! WTF? Sometimes thoughts of then and now hit me so hard in the chest I actually fall to the ground in pure agony. Like, now at this fucking painful moment in this beautiful life in hell. Holy smokes... I can smell my heart burning. Seem to be moving forward but every now and then I will drift for days and wake up in a different place wondering how the hell I got there! Now, here, fucked, or... not, just hurting. I love You and I miss You and I pray for you and I am happy to see you and I am am lucky to be with you and I am not mad at you and I don't blame you and I hope you forgive me because I forgive you and I learned from you and hope to guide you and I have been liberated by you and fall to my knees weak for you and ache for you and am I without you and am better with you and better off without you and uplifted when I rejoice with you and dance with you to nothing but the song my heart creates with you and am drowning in tears lost in thoughts of you and am fucked up over you and stand tall and see clear with you when I talk with you when I smile back at you . . . are all a reflection of I . . . Love you
Oh God... I NEED this freedom. This one thing so coveted by all... freedom. Where? How? When? When. . .
On and on we go looking for answers to questions that may have nothing to do with what's been put forth for us. Finding ourselves babbling on and on. . . run on sentences in online blogs. . . helping to stop our eyes from leaking. Shit. Happens to be that clear to me that we can make all kinds of plans for ourselves, our lives, our loved ones, our careers, our dreams.. plans that we can watch go out the door as destiny takes it's course. Ha Ha to the I for not realizing that only 2 of my eyes were blind while the third eye was dry...
Monday, November 15, 2010
111510
Growing.
It's crazy... It's really something. I have no idea what to even say or think about it other than how awesome it is... pretty crazy sometimes feeling these crazy palpitations that randomly hit me in the chest at un-expected, very sudden moments, totally changing the pattern of my breath drastically. Like... I don't know... a heavenly heart attack you know but, attacking you with a realization of some kind or attacking you with,,, Love maybe? How would you describe it? The feeling you get when you're totally sure of something. Totally sure that you are on the right path, totally sure you're beyond the point of no return, however, still not sure where you're going, how you're gonna make it all the way there, how far you are from the beginning and how far away or close you are to the point you wanna reach and maybe how you know... ramble ramble...
You ever ask an old couple how they did it? Or how they knew? You ever get that answer that they just knew? You think that when you know you just know? Like when you're looking for a career and you are young and a little confused because there are a million things you wanna do, a million places you wanna be, a million confirmations from loved ones that you have ability, that you're special and powerful and full of infinite potential! But the feeling that you're not moving your feet because you're still trying to figure out which direction to point them before you take that nearly impossible first step. Nearly impossible because we fill ourselves with the false notion that impossible is what it is.. and it's not. This applies to meeting your dreams or meeting your dream girl or dream boy. This applies to mastering your craft, art, science, skill, talent career...
Why am I saying all this and where is it coming from. Well, shit, it's coming from my heart I know that. I feel a great deal of powerful love surrounding me and it is resonating like every note in your favorite song on a gorgeous day in paradise after the perfect meal wearing your best outfit with your favorite person.
Recently a whole lot of stinky, moldy shit came raining down on my life at once... I mean, a frickin poop thunderstorm crashing down on me and it didn't seem to knock me down. In the past, one drop of that shit woulda set me off... but by the time I was knee deep in it, it didn't hurt. It went from me drowning in it to me running through it like it was a part of an obstacle course or race that I knew I was gonna win! I'm telling you, if I gave you the details of this shit storm, you would think I'm writing a screen play. I promise, it's some shit...
but I'm healthy. I'm alive, more alive than I've ever been. My brain works and my body and bodily functions still function well... I have the common sense and intelligence to learn, absorb and apply. Learning about who I am and learning about how much my loved ones really do un-conditionally love me makes me feel like the most secure and powerful person I have ever been!
EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH LOVE
My father and I had the best conversation we ever had yesterday... My mother and I had a similar one in shorter length about ten months ago. My brother and I and my sister and I had a falling out a month ago that I feel made us closer simply by helping us overstand eachother better... The girl I'm dating is well... awesome, simply awesome and I'm just in a great mood a lot more than I used to be!
It was but a year or more ago that I wrote "As Good As It Gets" and the answer to that is... it gets better and Better and BETTER!!!!!
