Still Living In The YYC

 Yuuuuup...

Still in Calgary.  Still reaching out to strangers and friends alike.  It's been six months since I began the 1 year count down to travel... 6 months left.  As expected, so much life has happened since then.  SO MUCH.  IT'S SURREAL.  It continues to be.  

Connections made and lost and still in search of friends.  A crew.  A crew that will treat me as an equal.  I think that large characters are intimidating to others.  Even intimidating to me at times, however, when in the presence of larger characters by my own perception, I, without false ego, put myself on their level by seeing them as another human and that must make me large as well.  We are all trying to get somewhere and if someone is different, they are just that, different.  They read a different book or learned a different lesson a different way.  Not better, different.  They can be better at something than you, but nobody is better at life than you.  Even if you live a life of suffering and them a life of pleasure and/or materialism we are just moving into the space that has already been set forth for us.. react.  When we sleep and connect, when we meditate and connect, when we make love and connect, when we feel the whole world as one and dualism seizes to exist.. That is what is real.  So, make your human existence a better one by actually making it a better one for others. 

Make sense? 

What seems like high expectations to others, seems like what a friends should be to me.  I guess, I still put a lot of weight on words.  I still, when someone says, I love you, put weight on what that is to me.  Well, I do the same thing when someone is like, "Oh yeah, Phareke is my friend..."  What are my brother's names?  Do I have a sister? What is her name?  How many neices do I have?  Have I lost any reletives?  What do you know about me to say you know me?"  Then they get hurt when I ask these questions and then I get disposed of.  Yet they, say good things, I think, about me while thinking I'm a ticking time bomb or over sensitive or just scared because I call people out on properly representing themselves in the world.  On over use of the word Love when speaking to others..

Do what you do but admit what you do.

I will practice love n forgiveness and continue working on the compassion part until others actually begin to follow in that path.

#spreadloveerrday
#loveyourself
#loveothers
#bereal
#thelovemovement
#hiphopforhumanity
#lifelitemusicgroup

Check out..
www.reverbnation.com/phareke

My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
My name is Phareke
I wander the streets
Trying to spread love err day.
When people I meet
Ask me to speak
I stop and I turn and I say...
#spreadloveerrday 

Canadian Hip Hop is live in Calgary Alberta

Why do I want more outta you?

I'm trying not to be turned off by what attracts me the most... human connection. 

My love for people makes it almost impossible for me NOT to take it personal that potential friendships come and go as fast as a weekend high. 

Our A.D.D. society has caused us to become quickly bored the more we get to know someone to be as human as us.

First Blog of 2012

Not sure why I'm even starting this blog right now... I guess I just got on here and realized it's been months since I posted. So so much has happened just since October... already going on 5 months ago. Right now I'm chillin' listening to some Masta Ace... track called "Beautiful". Just the word alone makes me think of my girl... who is in the other room unhappy. I guess that I'm being kind of a buzz kill tonight. It's Saturday night and she's flying high on energy from the Bio Energy day in a booth at the Calgary Health and Wellness show. I'm so proud of her and I mean it! I just haven't really jumped up and down like I feel like I'm expected to be doing right now. Why? Don't know. I should be! I just got given a fist full of dollars from a drywall hustle I just completed. Still full of the dust in my hair and eyes as I type about it. Would love to bath and soak it off but, there is no hot water. I ran the last of it into a bath and like a gentleman gave that bath to Laine. She said she was gonna sauna, so, I figured... why not let her take a nice hot dip in a nice oily scented bath for a min before her sauna... then I guess she decided to NOT sauna and just stay in the bath. Now it's cold, oily, full of all day Laine. Oh well, I offered it. Wish I just wasn't so dusty and filthy.

I kinda wasted my saturday. I was committed so spending my day at Laine's mom's helping Tim with the floor, but, it was a one man job and I didn't end up getting to my own gig (drywall) until 3 something. Rushed and sanded my ass off just to make it on time to pick Laine up at the Bio E show (which I was half an hour late) and now 3 hours later, I'm still talking about her day and her accomplishments with a bunch of cash in a jar, no wardrobe and dust in my eyes.

It's Saturday night and I am in the house. Been in the city 8 months and have not seen the inside of a night club yet. I don't really feel that I can make plans to go out without my girl expecting that she and I are going together. In the entirety of our relationship I can think of two times we partied separate. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my woman and I love hanging with her, we have a blast, however... what does guy time look like for me at this point? Work?

I'm listening to this Masta Ace track on repeat and loving it. Really effin Loving it. He's gonna be at Hi Fi on Wednesday and I wanna go. I mentioned it... she said, "Let's Go"... I guess, I'll go to the night club with my girl. Is it disrespectful that I'm not jumping for joy? I mean, I've gone to the night club with my girl on many occasions and had a blast... and represented true (including not dodging kisses, holding hands and whatever). So, if I wanna go with a guy or alone, is that disrespectful? WTF? Anyways, fuck thinking about it. I need an entirely new wardrobe... we brought in over 5000 dollars into our home this month and it's only the 17th and we only have about 1000 to show for it. Life cost fucking money! Was two months behind on the truck payment (1200) and another month already calling for another 6 bills! Then food was over 5 bills so far and utilities 3 bills... gas wtf so far about 2 bills spent on that... and the ganja? well... being a chronic about 3 bills dropped on that too. Shiit it just doesn't stop.

Thank Jah for the opportunity to live lavishly this month. Thank Jah for my relationships and to be able to afford internet to complain on this damn blog that not ONE person other than myself and Jah read.

I really need to get an event going here... As for that trip to Jamaica... there's so much to talk about regarding it. So much came from it in out lives I feel... especially MOM. WTF is all I gotta say!

Till then..

My Life Today

Stumbled upon my blogger blog here and realized that I haven't entered in it in a while. then I just started to type this without thinking of what to write. How about an update? I mean, the last time I entered was May 15th it looks like. Since then, I had Hip Hop For Humanity (2nd annual) at the Fairview Pub on May 28th, 2011 the last Saturday of May. The line up was a good one. I didn't perform at this one. Panther n tha Supafly, Locution Revolution (from Edmonton), Whizdumb, Ndidi Cascade and Deanna Teeple, Furthermore and Immaculate, David Morin and Tonye Aganaba performed this year and they were all good. There were some communication issues with some artists that may have resulted in a loss of contact with one or two of the band members, however, so goes life.

June and July were filled with cafe jam nights and Soren's gig and fighting with the friend of Laine's that I hung with a couple of times.. goof. Also filled with a hustle for money while trying to not get evicted as Jane would harass me HUGE because I had a cat. The damn cat was there before her and Chris moved in the building and yet, as soon as they realized I wasn't JORDIE (the name on Laine's Lease) and also that they didn't even have Laine on record for living in the building (other than still altering and cashing her cheques every month), they put the pressure on. Notes in the laundry room, on our door, the cat the cat the cat. Poor Fritz. His health was not doing well, he was puking twice a day, it sucked.

Then the beginning of July we gave notice to move and relized that the cost to move was stupid. So, we decided if we would put forth such cost, let's move to a place where we can be happy. So it was a toss up between Winnipeg and Calgary and here I am now... in Calgary. I had no idea what to expect but I came with a plan to work and live for 8 months while Laine finishes school in Vancouver (one weekend a month till feb or mar) then move to Peg City...

I am not sure how that plan will pan out. I LOVE my home, my girl, my truck that I got from Vancouver named Pearl, my cat and my life so far in Calgary. I am cutting it short with the details but, it's been nice to have a fresh start. It's been nice to be able to not have excuses from past or from hate or from paranoia as to why things are NOT working out... all I have now are reasons why things ARE working out. I have contractors and clients who show no reason to be dishonest to me or think of me as dishonest (first contract may have been an exception thanks to Erica... ask me later) and I am slowly working my way into the music scene. Already did a gig at UBU Lounge on the 6th of October.

Will be heading to Jamaica in a couple of weeks... Yay!!! Yikes!!


More to come.....